Introspection

What do you do when you are forced to come face to face with the potential death of a dream?

We all have to face this at some point in our lives. For some, it is the death of bachelorhood as they face the daunting task of establishing a family. For others, it is the death of that perceived "perfect" romance or the imagined missed opportunity of asking for a waitress's phone number.

For me, I have been faced with the real possibility that God may be asking me to give up on my dream of working with college students. For anyone that has been neck deep in the middle of a job search, you have an idea of what I am dealing with now. The sick feelings as you try to wipe away the anxieties of the day so that you can go to sleep at night only to be haunted by the regret of yesterday. Why didn't I pursue that contact? Why did make that stupid comment in that interview? What is it that they are looking for? Why not me? Where does my value lie now that no one wants me to work for them?

It is an unsettling reality to have the ground that you were so sure of drop out from underneath you, forcing you to look at who you are and what is important to you. Inevitably, there is always a great period of growth that happens on the backside of these moments in our lives but it is what we do during these times that forges who we will be once we have come through to our new reality.

The only thing that I have come up with during this time is the thing that we all inevitably come up with: you try to find a way to make the best of what you have in your current situation while passionately seeking the answers to the questions that plague you. For me, I have been focusing on the search; On the race, as it were. What can I continue to do today to make an impact? What amazing things have I been missing out on right here in my current situation? If God asks me to stay here, in what ways can that be a positive?

It is so easy to get caught up in looking ahead that we miss out on all the great things that we have going for us in our lives now. Looking back, the only true things that I have gaining from my current period of introspection is that: Regret is the worst thing in the world to have to live with and I know that I have enough strength to handle today-and that's enough for now.